My dearest Elmo,
Though our affair was intense, I fear that I have outgrown you and must move on. Just hearing the opening strains of your theme song is too much to bear and I run to locate the remote so that I can stop the madness. I hope that you and Dorothy find the happiness and friendship you so greatly deserve, but alas, it will not be with me.
If you need to contact me I can be found in my rocking chair cozying up to one of the Little Einsteins. At least they inspire me, Elmo. When I watch their show, I feel alive. The art is fantastic and the music uplifting. It’s all I can do not to dance at the mere mention of their name. Since I know you will never change, I think it best that I simply move on.
With kindest regards,